Well, I've made it past the point of pregnancy that Kat was stillborn. Even though my first two pregnancies resulted in full-term births of healthy babies it has still been really difficult in the lead up to 25 weeks to imagine that this baby is still alive, or that she will be next week or next month or in December. Here I am though, two days short of 26 weeks and actually enjoying being pregnant more than I have out of four pregnancies. Yes, there has been plenty of anxiety. I've been really positive as long as everything's on an even keel; as soon as anything rocks me just a little I freak out. But so far the things that have freaked me out have proved to be unfounded. This is the first uncomplicated pregnancy I've ever had. The only one that hasn't started with multiple ultrasounds because doctors are concerned about the baby. The only one that hasn't started with doctors telling me not to get my hopes up about the pregnancy continuing. I've been the least sick and the most physically comfortable (although comfort is a relative term in pregnancy - there really is no such thing as "comfortable") out of all four. There's plenty of movement from bub and she has a nice steady heartbeat. I've been really enjoying the experience of carrying her inside my body. Every time I feel her move I get the most incredible rush of love for her. I feel a very close bond with her already. All indications now are that we really will be holding our living, breathing baby in about three months' time.

I hope so anyway...