Double post day!

I've been feeling really angsty today and not able to wrap my mind around this baby being alive. I've been feeling all day like SOMETHING is about to blow up in my face and it will all be over. Then I just realised that today is the exact point in the pregnancy that, in hindsight, I believe Kat's heart stopped. It's three days until the same point we had the last ultrasound and were told she had passed away. And that day happens to fall on the 20th - nine months since Kat was born.

But then my doppler arrived this afternoon and I just lay in bed listening to our lil babe's heartbeat and I'm feeling a lot better now. I can see myself being glued to that doppler for the next fifteen weeks though...