Due date. I was expecting it to be hard and it has been. It's been raining since yesterday and it seems fitting. The weather matches us today. We got out of the house and saw a movie then had a really nice lunch at a new place we saw on the weekend. We wanted a quiet day but we didn't want to just be at home and we didn't want to wander around a shopping centre. I've been in tears on and off and I've had moments of feeling like I'm drowning. Where it seemed impossible that I was up and walking around and functioning. If Michael hadn't been with me today I don't think I would have made it out of bed. I don't like to think of how today would have been if we were each on our own. If he had been going about a normal work day. As he says, we don't have to find out what that would be like.
A friend of mine from school lost her dad over the weekend and his funeral is today. I keep thinking that we're certainly not the only ones going through something very difficult today.
About Me
- jenmm
- I'm very excited to be in a wonderful relationship, boring as that probably is to everyone else. We became an instant family with my two children and Michael's cat and very soon set about adding to our number. I'm a stay-home mum to our children and am doing a BA with a History major at UNE. My third pregnancy ended in the stillbirth of a beautiful girl in November 2009.
Hugs. I'm glad you had each other to help you through this very difficult day.
ReplyDeleteThe rain is matching my mood too - I don't feel so out of step with the world now.
Maddie x
My next door neighbour has a rose garden out the front and they were all in full bloom or wilting, except for one bright yellow rose that was just coming out of it's bud. There was an orange butterfly hovering around it and I thought of Kat, and of you and Michael. I just want you to know that I won't ever forget Kat either. She existed, and she is missed.
ReplyDeleteLove, Michelle xoxox