The slightest thing tips the balance from being OK to really not OK. Mostly I'm on a more or less even keel, just going about my day to day life and doing the things I need to do. But then the kids fight or I get a headache and I feel nothing but sadness. It's not the crushing sobbing pain of Kat's death, it's just sadness. I can still function and still go about my business but I'm so sad and I know it's from the memory of my baby being so recent. It hangs over me. When Rory was born I remember it being such a rollercoaster of emotion for the first couple of months. The highs were extremely high but the lows were extremely low. When Sienna was born I mostly felt like I was sleepwalking. There were no highs and lows, just putting one foot in front of the othe every day. This - grieving after the loss of a baby - is kind of a mixture of the two. Most of the time I feel flat - not in a negative way, just that mostly I'm just kind of neutrally going about my days. There are no big highs to feel, but the lows are extremely low.