Back down a bit today. I've always had quite severe period pain, to the point where I have passed out or been unable to stand up straight. A midwife was surprised when I was having contractions the first time that I apparently wasn't in very much pain. She said other women would have been screaming by then. To me it was nowhere near as bad as period pain. Anyway, today I have period pain and on top of it feel sick in the stomach and have a bit of a temperature. I've had those last two symptoms for several days and we seriously thought I was pregnant. Having a period makes holding a baby seem so very far away. It's that unknown quantity - when? When will it happen? It's not a case of desperately wanting to be pregnant. We both want another baby but it's still so soon after Kat that we will simply welcome it if and when it happens. So, it's not about being desperate for a baby, it's just the frustration of wanting something and not knowing when it will happen. I've longed so many times to be holding my Kat in my arms and that has shifted to a longing to pick up and hold another baby. Our baby. I can't wait to share that experience with Michael again. It was so special.