Little kitty Kat, I'm absolutely positive you spent some time with us last night.

We lit a candle in your memory for the International Wave of Light as part of Pregnancy and Infant Loss Remembrance Day. The idea is to light a candle at 7pm and leave it burning for one hour, so that around the world there will be a continual light burning for a 24 hour period in memory of lost babies.

We took some photos of your candle to contribute to online forums about the Wave of Light and as I held the camera up there was a bar of silver white light right in front of the candle. I moved the camera around and it disappeared... it was only in front of the candle. I got the kids to turn off the lamps behind me, but it was still there. Nothing came up in the photos though, but that bar of light didn't move from the camera screen. Later in the night when I wanted to get a picture of Rory and Lenin it was gone.

I thought almost at once that it was you Kat.

Then I saw you in my dreams again last night. Again, I was pregnant and at the same stage that I am in reality. You looked a little less than a year old - so that would take it from your November birth date instead of the time you were due to be born. You had been a seriously sick little baby but you were home with us, sitting up and smiling. You had permanent health problems and we knew we would be looking after you for the rest of your life. We also knew that Caira was going to be born soon and that she would be healthy and go on to have her own life doing her own things. We were just so happy to be having both our girls with us. And you.... you were so incredibly happy. You were by your daddy's side, this little blonde girl, just the way I always pictured you before you died. Even the day we found out you had died, I saw you once more right there in the hospital room, by your daddy's side. I know you came to us through him. So there you were, next to daddy and smiling, smiling, smiling to light up the whole world. You were with your family. We know that was what you wanted more than anything, we know it's why you came to us - to have a family. We are your family Kat and you are in ours. Always baby girl. Always. We love you so much.