Doctor's appointment today, everything went well. I heard the heartbeat! Then had a cry. I get so shaky and nervous before appointments and go in convinced it's all going to be over again. The rest of the time I'm fine and I've felt so positive about this baby right from the start. I saw a really great doctor, exactly the kind I would like to be seeing all the way through (plus, I really wanted to have just one doctor so I didn't have to keep going over what happened to someone new on each visit) but he's referred me to the high risk clinic at the hospital. Not because there's any reason to suspect that this pregnancy is high risk as such, just that having had a stillbirth he thinks I should be seen by obstetricians. If they're happy to do shared care I'll split appointments between the clinic and the GP.

I saw a newborn baby girl at school this afternoon and it took me a while to realise that seeing a new baby made me smile instead of want to cry. I just sat there thinking "that will be us soon", it didn't even tear at my heart that it was a girl. This is a huge change from a few months ago.